Hi again. I’m finding myself fastened to some type of rut this evening. We can blame this on me making the executive decision to skip training this morning; this resolve weighing heavily on the fact that it is freezing hence harder to wake up earlier in the morning and also the mere reasonable certainty that my lingering ailments of injuries won’t heal properly if I don’t rest enough. But now we have it – lack of physical exhaustion from gym equates to free time which equates to wandering thoughts.
Currently, we are looking at the following facts:
- I’m fully qualified to practice accounting globally.
- I worked as a tax specialist for 3 out of 4 years in public practice.
- Now I’m a temporary financial controller for an investment bank.
- What does the above mean to me? Other than looking good on paper, absolutely nothing.
- Let me repeat that – nooothhinggg!
I received lots of personal and career advice during my time in public practice, but only 2 have stuck with me – probably the most important 2 things I learnt there in my time. Ha – I make it sound like I did “time” there as if it was jail, but trust me, sometimes it really did feel like it. The first piece of advice was given by a Tax Partner on my first day via an induction speech to all the new keen-bean fresh faced graduates. He told us that everyone, from graduates to partners have things that they are bad at and things they are good at. We’re human. To succeed, however, dedicate a little bit of time working on the things you’re bad at so that you can get by, but spend most of your energy getting better at the things you’re already good at so you can excel right out of the ballpark. There’s no point spending copious amounts of time trying to improve on the things you’re bad at, because there will already be people better than you by the time you play catch up. The second piece of advice was given to me by my Partner on one of my last days in the office. I respect him a lot. He was trying to convince me to take a one-year career break rather than resign, and in our conversations about future employment he told me that if ever I did not like what I was doing, or it didn’t feel right, then quit. Don’t waste time hanging around trying to like something thinking you’ll get better at it. (I almost feel like he was alluding to men and relationships, but let’s just stick with the professional point of view for now.)
Both pieces of advice have a similar tone, and it’s funny how they came at the beginning and end of my career at that place.
Both pieces of advice conflict with my personality – I’m not a quitter, if tested, I will work at something until I understand it.
However, what I’ve come to realise on this cold, cold Autumn evening (it feels like Winter)… actually no, I take the world ‘realise’ back. This isn’t a new thought by any means, it’s more like a consolidated action plan. Spending 45-60 hours a week doing something I’m only mediocre at, is a lot of time wasted. My accounting expiry date is coming up real soon. Sitting in front of a computer screen deciphering which way debits and credits are meant to go burns a scorching hole through both my heart and creative membranes.
Perhaps I need to spend a little less time training and a little more time sorting my life out. It’s not a mess, nothing is wrong with it per se. I’m so grateful to have the people that I do around me, and to have the opportunity to be in London – which I know, couldn’t have been done with accounting behind me. It’s all about the journey and I just think it’s time for the next adventure. I don’t want to just be content, to plod along in the rat race trying to elicit the same sort of passion my peers have. It’s not for me. I want fire. So here’s me, at the beginning of figuring out how to change this for a better me, and hopefully those I impact from my future decisions.
Alternatively, I should never skip training again. Teehee.
Screw your excuses Jen, they’re not good enough for me anymore.
Do what you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.